Laurie Lingo & The Dipsticks

Under the alias of "Laurie Lingo & The Dipsticks", Radio One DJ and self proclaimed "hairy cornflake" Dave Lee Travis and fellow Radio 1 DJ Paul Burnett hit the charts high in early 1976 with a parody of C.W. MacCall's classic "Convoy". Called "Convoy G.B.", the song keeps the CB radio theme but changes the focus to trucking on the British road - with a lot of Brit slang and references which non-Brits may not get. DLT plays a character called "Super Scouse" and Paul Burnett plays "Plastic Chicken". Genuinely amusing and cringemaking in equal measures (at one point, the Hairy Cornflake treats us to a Jim Davidson-style West Indian accent and Burnett treats us to what seems to be the prototype for Alan Partridge's "Camp David"...), "Convoy G.B." is a novelty classic (some of you may remember the stunning live performance on Top Of The Pops...). Be prepared for DLT's awful "suicide jockey" joke and Jimmy Savile impersonation near the end of the record!

Obviously, when a track like "Convoy G.B." gets really popular, it was only to be a matter of time before we heard DLT and Burnett again and later that year, especially for the Christmas market, they recorded an even dafter sequel called "Live At The Blue Boar" which gets top marks (from me at least) for DLT and Burnett's "creative writing and performance" and an amusing Frank Spencer impersonation from Burnett... Unfortunately, unlike "Convoy G.B." which reached a peak of around Number 5(!), I don't think this astonishing piece of comedy genius even touched the top 40. A shame as everyone must have been just begging for another Top Of The Pops performance...

Both records are arranged by the legendary Gerry Shury (famed songwriter/producer/arranger who worked with the likes of the Biddu Orchestra, Tina Charles, Jimmy James, etc, and even appeared on a few must-own funk-library records) - including the rather excellent b-sides which have absolutely nothing to do with DLT (although it is possible they were used as background music on his radio shows). The b-side to "Convoy G.B." is a rivetting electro-disco Beach Boys-influenced, mostly instrumental number called "Rock Is Dead" and "Good King Wenceslas" is a superb, ultra funky, Shaft-style instrumental version of the classic Christmas carol! Worth it for those tracks alone even if you can't stand Super Scouse and Plastic Chicken!


Laurie Lingo & The Dipsticks
Convoy G.B.
State Records
1976

1. Convoy G.B.
2. Rock Is Dead

Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 128 kbps.


Laurie Lingo & The Dipsticks
Live At The Blue Boar
State Records
1976

1. Live At The Blue Boar
2. Good King Wenceslas

Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 128 kbps.

Both records
14 mb

"Oooh. Shut that door..."
The Campy Cornflake, yesterday.

You Are Awful - Vol.1: Showbiz Comedy Titbits of the 60s & 70s

So here we are yet again for the third time - for those who missed it on my previous blogs - the much requested first volume of You Are Awful (third in the series is here). This is a must-own two-disc set of British comedy/novelty tracks from the 60s & 70s (and very early 80s, I'm sure) from the legendary likes of Tommy "Jus' Like That" Cooper, Dick "Oh You Are Awful" Emery, Larry "Shut That Door" Grayson, Bruce "Nice To See You, To See You Nice" Forsyth, Lenny "Ooooookaaaayyyy" Henry, Mike "T'rrifiiiic!" Reid, Max "I Wanna Tell You A Story" Bygraves, Frankie "Oooh No, Don't Missus" Howerd, Jim "Nick Nick" Davidson, Paul Henry ("Benny" from Crossroads with his legendary ode to Miss Diane), Brian Murphy ("George" from George & Mildred), Danny La Rue, Oliver "Wild Thing" Reed, Ted "3-2-1" Rogers, Terry Scott, Roy "Basil Brush" North, Jimmy Tarbuck, Max Wall, Roger De Courcey and many, many, many more. How can you even ponder getting a set like this?! Eh?!............. And it features not one but two - count 'em: one, two - near hits from Hylda Baker & Arthur Mullard. In fact, the only one I can see missing from this collection is John Inman who released a splendidly daft cash-in single in his Are You Being Served? heyday called - guess what - "Are You Being Served?" (but no to worry: you want it? I got it!).

V/A
You Are Awful...But We Like You
Sequel/Castle
2000
1 2 3 Download all 3 parts to unrar

CD1
1. Hylda Baker & Arthur Mullard - You're The One That I Want
2. Mike Reid - Prisencolinensinaincuisol
3. Oliver Reid - Ecstasy
4. Reginald Bosanquet - Dance With Me
5. Terry Scott - I Like Birds
6. Sue Nichols - Where Will You Be
7. Max Wall - My Little Tune
8. Max Bygraves - Get Me To The Church On Time
9. Manuel & Los Por Favors - Oh Cheryl
10. Roy North - If You Believe
11. Marti Caine - I've Never Been To Me
12. Danny La Rue - Copacabana
13. Jon Pertwee - The Worzel Song
14. Lionel Bart - Living Doll
15. Willy Rushton - If A Hundred Million People
16. Keith Chegwin - I'll Never Fall In Love Again
17. Jimmy Tarbuck - Wastin' Time
18. Robert Powell - Once Upon A Time
19. Faith Brown - Stone The Crows
20. Roy Castle - Don't Cry For Me Argentina
21. John Cleese & 1984 Show - Rhubarb Tart Song
22. Ken Cope - Hands Off, Stop Mucking About
23. Jim Dale - Georgy Girl
24. Gordon Banks & His Friends - We'll Be Together
25. Tommy Cooper - The Sheik Of Araby

CD2
1. Frankie Howerd With June Whitfield - Up Je T'aime -- Up Je T'aime
2. Dick Emery - You Are Awful (But I Like You) -- You Are Awful (But I Like You)
3. Lenny Henry - Boiled Beef And Carrots -- Boiled Beef And Carrots
4. Sid James - Our House -- Our House
5. Benny Hill - Harvest Of Love -- Harvest Of Love
6. Larry Grayson - Am I Just Another Pretty Face -- Am I Just Another Pretty Face
7. Bruce Forsyth - Chin Up -- Chin Up
8. Jim Davidson - Here Come The Fuzz -- Here Come The Fuzz
9. Bernard Cribbins - Paddington Bear -- Paddington Bear
10. The Goodies - Wild Thing -- Wild Thing
11. Leslie Crowther - Commercial Calypso -- Commercial Calypso
12. Roy Hudd - Two Lovely Black Eyes -- Two Lovely Black Eyes
13. Tony Selby - Salute Me, I'm The Corporal -- Salute Me, I'm The Corporal
14. Joyce Blair & Oliver Reed - Baby It's Cold Outside -- Baby It's Cold Outside
15. Elaine And Derek - The Skye Boat Song -- Skye Boat Song
16. Mike Reid - Chantilly Lace -- Chantilly Lace
17. The Gladiators - Tip Toe Through The Tulips -- Tip Toe Through The Tulips
18. Paul Henry - Benny's Song -- Benny Song
19. Ted Rogers - L'amour -- L'amour
20. Brian Murphy - Jogging -- Joging
21. Charlie Williams - Ta Luv -- Ta Luv
22. Roger De Courcey - Nookie's Song -- Nookie's Song
23. Charlie Drake - Who Is Sylvia -- Who Is Sylvia?
24. Ken Goodwin - Settle Down -- Settle Down
25. Hylda Baker & Arthur Mullard - Don't Go Breaking My Heart -- Don't Go Breaking My Heart

204 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 192 kbps.

Star Turn On 45 (Pints)

Yet another from everyone's favourite pub singer - Star Turn! From 1981, this seems to be the first ever Star Turn release and a mighty fine one it is too. Live from the Whitley Bay Social Club, Star Turn does a medley of disco and what-have-you covers (or there abouts) which include "I Will Survive", "The Sunshine Of My Life", "Feelings", "Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick", "Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree", "Japanese Boy", "Yellow River", "The Green Green Grass Of Home", "My Way" and not that many, many more! The b-side, "D.I.Y.", is pretty much a pile of shit - although I given them top marks for mentioning Beach Boys medley hitster Gidea Park...

Star Turn On 45 (Pints)
Star Turn On 45 (Pints)
V Tone
1981

1. Star Turn On 45 (Pints)
2. D.IY.

8 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 128 kbps.

Injection X featuring Paul Daniels - Wizbit

Puzzleopolis' local drug baron sinisterly insists to "Try a little magic!" and then the scary trip with the freaky triangular yellow one and his dodgy giant rabbit friend begins...

Injection X featuring Paul Daniels
Wizbit
Wokka Chokka Chum! Records
2009

1. Wizbit (Paul Daniels' Magic Mix) (4:09)
2. Wizbit (Audioballs' Eddie McGein Mix) (3:47)
3. Wizbit (Wooly's Reverse Gangbang Mix) (3:19)
4. Wizbit (Paul Daniels' Tragic Mix) (3:37)

32 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 320 kbps.

Features exclusive Audioballs remix.

Keith Harris & Orville - Superduck

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No - it's a green duck in a nappy. Here's the so awful it's great "Superduck" - one of a bazillion (or so it seems) singles released by Keith Harris and Orville in the early 80s. Written by Bobby Crush (as were most - possibly all - of the Keith Harris & Orville songs). This track apparently has Orville in the guise of a superhero of which the infamous green duck reveals, if the lyrics are to be believed, "Batman and Robin know my name - I've made a friend of Lois Lane!" and "Just like Spiderman - I'm not afraid because I am... Superduck!". He's also, apparently, "a duck where no other duck will go..." - whatever that means. Bizarrely, some parts of the song sound suspiciously like Irene Cara's "Fame"! The track sounds like it comes straight from the Saturday early evening tv series which Keith Harris & Orville had back in the 80s during their popularity peak - I can just hear those fateful words now at the end of the credits: "...and Keith Harris & Orville's 'Superduck' is available on BBC Records from all good record shops now".

The b-side is a dispicable cover of "Mr. Bass Man" which features Orville with the apparently dumb dinosaur Dippy (who sounds suspiciously like Wooly from Wizbit).

Keith Harris & Orville
Superduck
BBC Records
1984

1. Superduck
2. Mr. Bass Man

5 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 128 kbps.

Wombling Free

From 1977, here we have the live-action movie of the Wombles - released during the Womblemania craze in mid-70s Britain. Based on the books by Elisabeth Beresford and featuring the hit Womble music of Mike Batt. The esteemed cast includes, amongst others: Bonnie Langford, Frances de la Tour (ooh Miss Jones!), the always watchable David Tomlinson, Kenny "R2-D2" Baker (his wife Eileen also plays one of the Wombles), John Junkin and featuring the voices of the great Jon Pertwee, David "Del Boy" Jason, Janet Brown and Lionel Jeffries (who also wrote and directed).


The plot: Only able to be seen by those who believe in them, the Wombles are amazed when young Felicity ‘Kim’ Frogmorton (Bonnie Langford) invites them to her birthday party. With rumours of The Wombles existence circulating, a public meeting is set up to prove once and for all that the Wombles exist, and they should be helped in their crusade to clean up the world. But on the day of a meeting a storm breaks out…

Wombling Free
1977
XVID
Approx. 92 mins
700 mb

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Download all 8 parts to unrar.

Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut.

As a bonus, I've ripped and included rare interviews with Langford, Tomlinson and Jeffries plus the trailer.


Wombling Free interviews & trailer
1977
XVID
Approx. 73 mins
594 mb

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Download all 7 parts to unrar.

Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut.

Danmetal - Ashes To Ashes

Thought I'd share this here just for the hell of it (I'll probably start posting a few of my favourite youtube clips here when I haven't got anything better to do). This vid here is simply superb. This is Danmetal's brilliant, freaky cover of Bowie's masterpiece "Ashes to Ashes", with quite possibly the greatest - and freakiest - promo video ever made (even more so than Bowie's original!) as it features Darth Vader and the consumation of hard narcotica. Danmetal is obviously an insane genius (the best kind in my opinion).

Injection X - Postman Pat Takes A Trip To Ummo

During a particularly depressive period in his life, Pat seeks medical help and gets a "treatment" of Injection X - a quite painful sedative procedure that can also cause hallucinations, an unbalanced psychosis and loss of first class stamps.

Injection X
Postman Pat Takes A Trip To Ummo
Wokka Chokka Chum! Records
2009

1. Postman Pat Takes A Trip To Ummo (4:53)
2. Postman Pat - "Bright Red Van" Mix (7:29)
3. Postman Pat - "24 Hour Party Postman" Mix (3:01)
4. Postman Pat Takes A Trip To Ummo (Original Mix) (4:37)

43 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 320 kbps.

De Wolfe Music presents Monty Python's Flying Circus

Being an absolute total Python fanatic, I've been waiting for a release like this for decades - and finally it's happened! This compilation collects many of the various music from the De Wolfe library which were used in Monty Python's Flying Circus. Music from classic Python sketches such as "Blackmail", "Deja Vu", "The Attila The Hun Show", "It's A Living" and "Scott Of The Sahara", to name but a few amongst many others. Unfortunately, I still find this release to be a tad disappointing and wish it had been a two-disc set as there are many sketches with memorable music tracks - also apparently from the De Wolfe library - that haven't been included here. So I'm hoping there will be another voume (or two) to make up for my slight and picky disappointments with this release. Still, all said and done, ignore the fact that I'm just a bloody miserable old moaner as this is a total must-own for Python fans and collectors of library music.

V/A
De Wolfe Music presents Monty Python's Flying Circus
De Wolfe
2009

1. Liberty Bell
(Monty Python's Flying Circus Theme Music)
Sousa

2. Eveil A L'Aube
(music from 'Owl Stretching Time' sketch)
E Michael

3. Ad Lib
(music from 'The Visitors' sketch)
P Reno

4. Eye Of Horus
(music from 'Deja Vu' sketch)
P Willshire/K Chesher

5. Flute Promenade
(music from 'Animation' sketch)
E Towren

6. Bright Lights
(music from 'Blackmail' sketch)
S Fonteyn

7. Roving Report No2
(music from ''It's A Living' sketch)
J Trombey

8. David And Goliath
(music from 'Attila the Hun Show' sketch)
D Laren

9. Casbah
(music from 'Archaeology Today' sketch)
K Papworth

10. The Hunt
(music from 'Mosquito Hunters' sketch)
A Bonsel

11. Aggression
(music from 'Scott Of The Sahara' sketch)
E Towren

12. Man Of Power
(music from 'Film Director Teeth' sketch)
J Trombey

13. Pastoralia
(music from 'Gumby Flower Arranging' sketch)
E Towren

14. On The River
(music from 'Royal Episode 13' sketch)
J Snow

15. Man Of Destiny
(music from 'Whicker's World' sketch)
S Fonteyn

16. Theatre Overture
(music from 'Trim Jeans Theatre' sketch)
A Mawer

17. Trumpet Call
(music from 'Elizabeth L' sketch)
S Nakin

18. Hearts and Flowers
(music from 'War and Horror' sketch)
Czibulka

19. Comedy Set Variation 2
(music from 'Pantomime Horse is a Secret Agent Film' sketch)
R Tilsley

20. Military Preparation
(music from 'The All-England Summarize Proust Competition' sketch)
H de Groot

21. Peter Pan
(music from 'Children's Story' sketch)
H de Groot

22. Ripcord
(music from 'Salad Days' sketch)
J Steffaro

23. The Long Haul
(music from 'Russian 42nd International Clambake' sketch)
K Papworth

24. March Trident
(music from 'Olympic Hide and Seek Final' sketch)
J Trombey

25. Early Dusk
(music from 'Dennis Moore' sketch)
I Slaney

26. Arena March
(music from 'Ideal Loon Exhibition' sketch)
R Tilsley

27. The Banquet Part 3
(music from 'Spot The Loony' sketch)
S Nakin

28. Academy Award
(music from 'Light Entertainment Awards' sketch)
S Black

29. Market Research
(music from 'The Golden Age of Ballooning' sketch)
J Reids

30. The Poor Soul
(music from 'Zeppelin' sketch)
P Reno

100 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 192 kbps.

You Are Awful Vol.3 - Those Pesky Kids!

From the You Are Awful series (previously uploaded on my previous blogs) of novelty tracks from the Pye vaults, here is Volume 3 in a series of... 3. Like the other two volumes, this final volume (although there is suspicion that there was going to be a fourth volume) is very hit and miss. It's not that some tracks are awful (which is meant to be the point) but some are just plain bland and disc space could have been taken up with something far more worthwhile. But, still, having said all that, for collectors and/or currators of novelty/library/soundtrack/children's music from yesteryear this is a must-own - as are the others in the series (volume 1 being by far the best in the series).

The great and the good on disc 1 include comedy genius Tommy Cooper's sublimely brilliant "Tom Tom The Piper's Son", Mike Read's terrifiiiiic chart smash "The Ugly Duckling", Brian & Michael's all-time classic "Matchstick Men And Matchstick Cats And Dogs", Max Bygraves doing a jolly version of "That Doggie In The Window" and Anita Harris does a pleasant enough cover of the Mixtures' masterpiece "The Pushbike Song". Disc 2 is half taken up with cover versions of kids' tv themes by the Piccadilly Players - many of which are bland, tedious or both, but don't let that put you off. There are some gems scattered around such as the ultra funky "Godzilla" by the Sensation Band, the full theme song from much-missed 70s kids show Mumfie, Rupert Bear songstress Jackie Lee's reggaefied "Inigo Pipkin" theme song (I always preferred the later Pipkins personally) and - one I never get sick of listening to: the full theme song to cult classic Cloppa Castle (also available on The Persuaders And Other Top 70s TV Themes). The less said about The Street Kids' version of "Sesame Street", the better.

V/A
You Are Awful Vol.3 - Those Pesky Kids!
Castle/Sanctuary
2001
1 2 3 Download all 3 parts to unrar

1. Tom Tom The Piper's Son - Cooper, Tommy
2. Zip A Dee Doo Dah - Young Generation
3. I Wanna Be Like You - Ball, Kenny
4. Snoopy Vs The Red Baron - Gates Of Eden
5. Ugly Duckling - Read, Mike
6. Matchstick Men And Matchstick Cats And Dogs - Brian & Michael
7. Yellow Submarine - Harris, Anita
8. Puff The Magic Dragon - Ford, Clinton
9. Laughing Policeman - Rockin' Berries
10. My Old Man's A Dustman - Donegan, Lonnie
11. Solomon Centipide - Singleton, Valerie
12. Woomerang Boomerang - Tingha & Tucker
13. Christopher Robin - Clark, Petula
14. Let's All Go To The Fun Fair - Arthur, Toni
15. Peter Pan - Lee, Jackie
16. Simon Says - Paper Dolls
17. When You're Young - Ivy League & Dr. Barnardo's Children's Choir
18. Unicorn - Crowther, Leslie
19. When I See An Elephant Fly - Young Generation
20. Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me A Bow Wow - Ross, Andy Band & Singers
21. That Doggie In The Window - Bygraves, Max
22. Teddy Bears' Picnic - Ford, Clinton
23. Engelbert The Elephant - Paxton, Tom
24. Little Red Pony - Whyton, Wally
25. I Know An Old Lady - Rockin' Berries
26. Mouses - Dale, Jim
27. Pushbike Song - Harris, Anita
28. Onion Song - Chester, Charlie
29. Hole In The Elephant's Bottom - Hudd, Roy
30. Goldyloppers And The Three Bearloaders - Unwin, Stanley

Disc 2:
1. Sesame Street - Street Kids
2. Thunderbirds - Gray, Barry
3. Scooby Doo - Piccadilly Players
4. Rupert - Lee, Jackie
5. Tra La La La Song - Piccadilly Players
6. Dr Who - Winstone, Eric & His Orchestra
7. Song Of The Diddymen - Piccadilly Players
8. Mister Men - Bilk, Acker
9. Andy Pandy - Piccadilly Players
10. Stingray - Miller, Gary
11. Joe/Trumpton - Piccadilly Players
12. Johnathan's Zoo - Arthur, Toni
13. Parsley - Piccadilly Players
14. Joe 90 - Gray, Barry
15. Jackanory - Piccadilly Players
16. Inigo Pipkin - Lee, Jackie
17. Pink Panther - Piccadilly Players
18. Captain Scarlet - Gray, Barry
19. Felix The Cat - Piccadilly Players
20. Cloppa Castle - Rainbow Cottage
21. Sir Prancelot - Piccadilly Players
22. Aqua Marina - Gray, Barry
23. Playschool/Magic Roundabout - Piccadilly Players
24. Fireball XL5 - Flee-Rekkers
25. Lidsville - Piccadilly Players
26. White Horses - City Of Westminster String Band
27. Hattytown - Piccadilly Players
28. Dance Of The Clangers - Funkton
29. Godzilla - Sensation Band
30. Mumfie - Mumfie Band

207 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 192 kbps.

Keith Mansfield & Richard Elen - The Video Connection

Superb KPM album from 1984, courtesy of the legendary Keith Mansfield and Richard Elen. What we have here is a fantastic batch of electronica with more than a touch of Kraftwerk, Gary Numan, Jean Michel Jarre and Vangelis. The first track, "Postive Feedback" sounds almost exactly like Van Halen's "Jump"! Can it possibly get any better than that?! "Energy Fields" is sublime. They just don't make them like this anymore. The fact is, most of these tracks could have been big hits in the 80s if they had been released as singles with someone singing or rapping over them. Most of this album sounds like music you would expect to hear on 80s Schools & Colleges programmes about computer technology (or Look Around You!). (Creds to whoever ripped this as there wasn't any info in the folder pertaining to whoever ripped it.)

Keith Mansfield
The Video Connection (KPM 1321)
KPM
1984
1 2 Download both parts to unrar

Side A:
1. Postive Feedback
2. Electromatics (a)
3. Electromatics (b)
4. Energy Fields (a)
5. Energy Fields (b)
6. Kinetics (a)
7. Kinetics (b)
Side B:
1. High Profile
2. Datastream
3. Inner Visions (a)
4. Inner Visions (b)
5. Inner Visions (c)
6. Inner Visions (d)
7. Public Eye (a)
8. Public Eye (b)
+ 16 tracks of Short Cues

102 mb

Raubritter - Raubritter

Pump up the Raubritte! Brilliant and utterly bizarre medieval pop muzik from Germany by a band called Raubritter. The title track - "Raubritter" - is a bizarre masterpiece which reached number one on German music channel VIVA's "Top Trash 100" a few years back. "Raubritter" - a traditional German song from centuries ago - was apparently released as a single and the promo video features the band wearing Spitting Image masks of politicians whilst dressed in medieval knight armour - hence the "raubritter" which translates in English as "robbery knight" (or "robber barron"). Get the jist?! The promo vid is also interspersed with clips of German politicians - which adds to the hilarity and surrealness of it all. This is one of those releases that defies description and belief but, trust me, this is a great album... honestly! ;)

Raubritter
Eine Chance für Jedes Kind
Chance Rec
2000

1. Raubritter (Ritter-Mix)
2. Es Liegen Drei Glänzende Kugeln (Ritter-Mix)
3. Roter Wein Im Becher (Pop-Mix)
4. Strassen Auf Und Strassen Ab (Lagerfeuer-Mix)
5. Raubritter (Pop-Mix)
6. Es Liegen Drei Glänzende Kugeln (Lagerfeuer-Mix)
7. Strassen Auf Und Strassen Ab (Pop-Mix)
8. Roter Wein Im Becher (Lagerfeuer-Mix)
9. Es Liegen Drei Glänzende Kugeln (Pop-Mix)
10. Raubritter (Lagerfeuer-Mix)

82 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 320 kbps.

Lionel Bart - Happy Endings (Give Yourself A Pinch)

To anyone from the UK who was of an intelligent age (and I use that term loosely) way back in 1989, the above picture will either make you shudder or smile. Or both. I'll never forget 1989. It was my second year of YTS (one of the best eras of my life - god bless the British government's slave labour schemes for school leavers!). More importantly, 1989 was the year of the Batman - the greatest movie event of my current lifetime. But it wasn't just the Batman who made a comeback, there was also the Bartman. No, not Bart Simpson - I'm talking about Lionel Bart, creator of the hit musical Oliver!. In 1989, Bart wrote and performed a song for a tv commercial (or advert as we say in Britain) for the Abbey National bank.


The ad involved Bart performing on a piano with a bunch of little kiddies on a stage singing (or mumbling in the case of the kids who could barely talk at that age) a song called "Happy Endings" - or "Abbey Endings" as the ad campaign was called. It seemed to be a pretty long advert at the time - it ran around a minute long. The ad was massively popular and, for many who saw it, has subliminally stuck in the consciousness to this day. It was such a success that Bart released a full single of his jingle intended to hit the charts high at Christmas. It got plenty of play from Steve Wright In The Afternoon who predicted that it may well be the Christmas number one of 1989. But it wasn't. It seemed nobody bought the record (except me - and that was around 15 years after the event via ebay!) and, by 1990, the campaign featuring Bart and the kids ended. It possibly wasn't Madchester enough at this point in time for the record buying majority. And Malcolm Mclaren couldn't be bothered to do a rave remix - which would no doubt have improved it's chances of chart success. Still, for many who remember it, this particular tv ad is one of the greatest of all-time or - if you hate kids - one of the most annoying. Here, then, is what you've all been waiting for: The Abby Endings Christmas Number One that wasn't to be. Enjoy!

Lionel Bart
Happy Endings (Give Yourself A Pinch)
EMI
1989

1. Happy Endings (Give Yourself A Pinch)
2. Happy Endings (Give Yourself A Pinch) - The Party

8 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 128 kbps.

Star Turn On 45 Pints - I Believe

"Drinking is massiiiiive!" I got this strictly for the superb 96' jungle remix of "Pump Up The Bitter"! It was well worth the entrance price for that one alone (although I wish it was longer). The other two tracks - both covers of golden oldies you've heard to death - are perhaps a bit too middle of the road for my liking although "Up On The Roof" is bearable enough.

Star Turn On 45 Pints
I Believe
Grapevine/Polygram
1995

1. I Believe
2. Up On The Roof
3. Pump Up The Bitter '96 (Jungle)

21 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 320 kbps.

If you enjoyed this batch of Star Turn rarities, there will be more in the near-future...

Star Turn On 45 Pints - Hoakey Karioke

From 1991, it's that classic party tune we all know and loath with a few lyric changes and sung in that special way that only the blonde bombshell that is Star Turn himself can (with a bit of input from the one known as The Chairman). "Newkie-Brown Blues" is a very amusing blues number. Overall, this is one of my favourite Star Turn releases. Good stuff.

Fact of the day: Wikipedia doesn't have a page on Star Turn.
Why dat den?

Star Turn On 45 Pints
Hokey Karioke
BMG
1991

1. Hoakey Karioke
2. Newkie-Brown Blues

8 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 128 kbps.

Star Turn On 45 Pints - Take Me Out

Star Turn's most recent release (from 2004) - and probably my least favourite - features renditions of Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out", Robbie Williams' "Let Me Entertain You" and Harvey & The Moonglows' "The Ten Commandments of Love". The title track is okay but I'm not that familiar with the original as I'm not really into Franz Ferdinand (decent band though they are). I was expecting great things from the Robbie track but it seemed a bit flat and didn't grab my hilarity bone how I'd hoped - they should have done a Robbie medley instead in my opinion. And "The Ten Commandments Of Love" did bugger all for me either. Personally, I think the next thing Star Turn should do is a medley of Sugababes songs - I can hear the pub singer's renditions of "Push The Button", "Red Dress" and"Overload" right now in my head!...

Star Turn On 45 Pints
Take Me Out
Turn Trax
2004

1. Take Me Out
2. Let Me Entertain You
3. The Ten Commandments Of Love

22 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 320 kbps.

Star Turn For Europe - Eurosong

From 1982 and very possibly the first ever Star Turn release - certainly the earliest I've come across at least - here they are at their very best with a rowsing medley of Eurovision hits. Everything is thrown into the mix here from Johnny Logan's "What's Another Day" to Cliff Richard's "The Shadows Are All My Friends". Also includes Star Turn's very own Eurovison entry called "Ding Dong Ding Dong" - unfortunately they tragically lost out in the Great Britain try outs to Bardo's ultra catchy "One Step Further" that year (who unfortunately lost out to Germany via Nicole's gut wrenchingly sick "Ein bisschen Frieden")...

Star Turn For Europe
Eurosong
V Tone
1982

1. Star Turn For Europe - Eurosong
2. Ding Dong Ding Dong (A Song For Europe)

10 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 128 kbps.

Star Turn On 45 Pints - Give It! Lock, Stock & Barrel

So I'm back (on a sort of off and on basis) and the first post is the first in a series dedicated to the legendary Star Turn (On 45 Pints). This "tribute" medley to the works of Stock, Aitken and Dennis Waterman was the follow-up to the masterpiece that was Pump Up The Bitter. "The Chairman Speaks" is merely a collection of Star Turn samples used in the feature track which you might want to use to make your own Star Turn remix (or maybe not). "House Called" is bingo number calling done in a N..N..N..Nineteen stylee.

Star Turn on 45 Pints
Give It! Lock, Stock And Barrel (Extended Version)
Pacific Recordings
1988

Side A:
1. Lock, Stock & Barrel (Extended Mix): Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole / Never Gonna Give You Up / I Should Be So Lucky / Love In The First Degree / Toy Boy / When I Fall In Love / Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now / All The Way / Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole (Reprise)
2. The Chairman Speaks (Club Samples)
Side B:
1. House Called (Flyer Mix)

10 mb
Ripped & encoded by X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut @ 128 kbps.

Slothy's Pigeon Shit

Me old mucker Slothy's got a new home to roost...